Today, May 15, 2020, was supposed to be the end of New York's lockdown. A few weeks ago (or a week ago or a month ago -- who even remembers anymore?), it was extended to June 6.
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| Not so fast, pal. We're keeping you in there for a reason. |
Well guess what, kids! Looks like the lockdown is so popular that it's been extended by one week to June 13!
Today should also provide an interesting preview for summer ahead. The temperature in the city is supposed to hit 84 degrees (that's 28.8889 to the Celsius crowd). People who have been dutifully staying inside will be sorely tempted to exit stage left to the great outdoors, where social distancing will be at a premium.
In response, the police will start closing certain areas of Central Park this weekend. I will repeat that, in case you didn't understand. Areas of Central Park will be closed to prevent overcrowding. Since you're already thinking what I was going to say, let's move on.
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| New York is back! |
More people in the city have been leaving their homes for extended periods of time. And traffic on the FDR Highway is ever-so larger, although nothing close to what you would expect.
Take a look at the photos. The one on the far left is from March 26 at noon; the one to the right of it, yesterday at noon. That's five extra cars by my count. The traffic reporters in helicopters must be looking for stolen car chases to keep from going mad from boredom.
While New York's COVID numbers are dropping every day, those in our nearby states are growing, forcing their governors to up their game to Gov. Cuomo's level during their daily briefings. And since I've been watching the latter's Maxwell House Showboat Starring Captain Andy every day, I thought it was only fair to give the others a try. And neither of them, I'm afraid, are nearly as entertaining.
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| Uh, Phil, why would I want to visit COVID-19? |
I cop to disliking New Jersey Phil Murphy when there was only a COVID-15. There always seemed to be a nasty streak running just underneath the surface, which is something for a state whose previous governor was Chris Christie. But unlike Christie, you never saw much of Murphy on New York news until the pandemic hit the Northeast.
Sorry to say, Murphy's attitude, or at least delivery, hasn't improved much. He's not so much a governor as he is the dean of boys you disliked so much at your high school. No matter what the problem, he makes it seem like it was your fault.
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| Would this guy make you feel any safer? |
I didn't even know who the governor of Connecticut was until two weeks ago, and even then I had to look it up again just now -- and for good reason.
Ned Lamont comes off as nothing more than a small town mayor whose other job is managing a liquor store. Watch him for for 30 seconds and you'll wonder if anyone in the state is going to make it out alive. If this is the best Connecticut Democrats can come up with, there go my plans to buy a horse farm in Granby.
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| Newsom auditioning for the lead in the next Superman movie. |
For some reason, my phone sends me alerts whenever California Governor Gavin Newsom puts in his two cents, so yesterday I decided to check him out. Appropriately, Newsom looks like the governor of California. Handsome in a B-movie way, with a head of hair that would make Mitt Romney envious, he stands tall and, unlike Murphy and Lamont, doesn't shop at Target for his wardrobe.
That's where the good stuff ends. Now, I can't speak to Newsom's politics. A friend of mine in California considers him "a stupid socialist", so I'll presume the governor is your typical left-of-center Democrat, and leave it at that.
But, no offense to my other West Coast friends, if what I saw yesterday is any indication, Newsom is the most agonizingly tedious governor in the country. Ever see the original version of All the King's Men? When the guys who run the political party try to stop Willie Stark's campaign by convincing him bromidic is better?
That's what Gavin Newsom is like. There isn't a fact, stat, figure or even hypotenuse that he doesn't want to share with you. All the while you're listening to him politely, inside you're screaming, For God's sakes, STOP! Whoever is advising him must be a Republican mole.
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| The sign language guy is saying, "I have no idea what the fuck Cuomo is doing right now." |
Nope, Andrew Cuomo these guys are not. And now that New York's COVID numbers are going the right way, he's loosening up more than ever. Yesterday, when talking about a new COVID-related website his team is setting up, he said they assured him it would have a good "dashboard."
Seeing an opening for another of his totally off the rails commentaries, Cuomo hoped the dashboard would be like that of the 1967 Corvette. And because that wasn't enough of a detour, he explained why it was the greatest in automotive history.
But if this is the trade-off for falling COVID numbers, Cuomo can invite Jay Leno to discuss his car collection for all I care. Meanwhile, Gavin Newsom will still be counting the ways he can count the ways to count the ways.
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