FREELANCE FREEFALL

She'd rather call her agent if she still had one.

 Let it not be said that I don't give credit to those who recognize their mistakes. As Shakespeare put it, "Be it by your fireside, or on X (formerly known as Twitter) or at a rally, who amongst us hath not spoken like a bonehead?" 

So let us congratulate Susan Sarandon on making amends for her manifesto, "There are a lot of people afraid of being Jewish at this time, and are getting a taste of what it feels like to be a Muslim in this country." Forget that it took two weeks of rumination, not to mention being dropped by her agency, to realize that a better choice of words could have been spoken. And ignore, too, that she used the tried and true method of making it public just before midnight on Friday so that most people will never know about it -- which kind of negates the whole apology thing. But good for the politician, good for the actor, right?

Just to prove what a fair and balanced guy I am, I give you the apology just as it appeared on Instagram:

Per usual with these kind of apologies, there's an undercurrent of manure running through it. Like "I had not planned to speak." Oh please, Susan. You're a celebrity. Your whole persona is speaking truth to power, speaking your truth, speaking speaking speaking. 

You were at the front of the rally. Of course you had more than an inkling that the microphone would be shoved in your Oscar-winning hand. You're no different than the January 6 insurrectionists who claim to have gotten "caught up in the moment." It wasn't plausible from them, it isn't plausible from you.

"This phrasing was a terrible mistake." Well, that's true. But the idea that you were trying to show "solidarity in the struggle against bigotry of all kinds" doesn't ring the liberty bell. Saying that Jews are finally getting a taste of violence was not "diminishing the reality" of antisemitism. It was antisemitic.

Far from continuing your "commitment to compassion", you let the world know what you were really thinking -- Jews have it coming. As she told her agents when they called to let her know she was being kicked to the curb, "I had no idea you were Zionists." Funny, you don't look Jewish. 

This isn't Sarandon's first time at the apology rodeo. In February 2022 (how time flies!) she made a mea culpa regarding the funeral of a cop killed in the line of duty. Her excuse that time -- I didn't know he was shot, sorry! -- was as believable as a breath taken by George Santos. This is why very few actors excel at improv. 

I suspect we won't be hearing much from Ms. Sarandon regarding anything other than her upcoming movies in the next year (two in pre-production, three in post, which, admittedly, is exactly five more than I have). Far from being a relief, it's actually regrettable. I always like having something to make fun of. Come back, soon, Susan, all is forgiven -- just as sincerely as you.

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