SIGN LANGAUGE, PT. 10

The signs that started going up during the covid days show no sign of abating, although one in this list is actually professional, legal, and from the local Landmarks Commission. I told you we lived in a classy area!

This plaque recently went up on the townhouse where Walter Cronkite lived just a few buildings west of ours. My wife and I would see him occasionally and exchange good mornings/afternoons/evenings with him and his wife. He seemed to be used to greetings from strangers. His afternoon Christmas parties coincided with my wife's birthday; they were always breaking up when we were going out to dinner. The 60 Minutes gang could be seen putting on their overcoats as they left. My strongest memory is Morley Safer with a cigarette dangling from his mouth like a common hoodlum. After Cronkite's wife died, he moved out and, at age 89, shacked up with Carly Simon's older sister Joanna at UN Plaza until his death four years later. We still miss those Christmas parties. 

As you can probably tell, this has been up a while. The dog's name is Puck. I sympathize with Puck's owner, but there might be more than a few people who would rather go fund their own brain surgery. Nothing funny about the whole situation, but something about BIDEN on his face makes me laugh, as it would TRUMP or OBAMA or HILLARY or DE BLASIO. Especially DE BLASIO.

Wowee, do these two ladies tick all the boxes or what? So much so it kind of makes me think Olivia and Ava are actually lures for horny guys to join a dating site. And if Olivia and Ava are actually sentient human beings, horny guys aren't looking to be "friends" with single women on something called Fourplay. (Yeah, I know the other word is spelled differently, but guys are hearing the word in their head.) By the way, anybody know what "tuna melt girly" is? If it's anything like the tuna melt that gave my wife food poisoning, somebody tell Ava it's a turn-off. 

Nothing like getting your kid interested in reading by referring to books as crap.

Time and weather have done damage to the ad, but what it comes down to is this: someone is willing to clean the unwanted crap from your closet for $80/hour. Talk about Upper East Side problems. I feel like hanging up a sign underneath it: STAY HOME THE NEXT RAINY SUNDAY AND DO IT YOURSELF FOR FREE! But where's the bragging rights to that?

Another one that's been up forever. So long, in fact, that I can't tell what exactly I'm not supposed to feed outside those buildings. Oh well. Guess I'll keep feeding the birds.

Another neighbor who wins my sympathy. But, you know, it would help if DOGS COULD READ!

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