Has it been six years? Why, it seems like yesterday that Harry and Meghan turned royal tail and fled their no-show jobs in the UK for their no-watched shows in the US. Why, it was just a little over a year ago when Harry told the BBC, "I can't see a world in which I would bring my wife and children back to the UK at this point."
Well, it appears Harry found a good ophthalmologist to clear up his eyesight. Or was there something else that changed his and the little lady's collective minds?
It couldn't have been the weather (the UK seems to ping-pong between chilly grey skies and record-breaking heat with nothing in between). Or the possibility of a welcome-home celebration from the family Harry said were racist. Or positive coverage from the press he referred to as "dweebs and crones and cut-rate criminals and clinically diagnosable sadists".
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| Here's another rhyme: Take the hints, prince. |
Could it be they're counting on the goodwill of the British public? Not with 2/3 of the nation having an unfavorable view of them. One former Royal security chief I saw interviewed claimed that the real negative number is 85%, while 20% are dangerous enough to be considered genuine threats. Let me tell you, if that's the way my fellow countrymen felt about me, I'd take the next dogsled to the North Pole. So what in the name of McVite's Digestive Biscuits would bring Harry and Meghan back facing that kind of hostility? Well, according to the Sun front page, they're doing it for the kids. in fact, the tykes are already enrolled in a posh private school. This makes this whole "sudden" decision to move back something of a big question mark. Because if that enrollment process was anything like what we had to go through for our daughter's public school, then Harry and Meg must have started filling their U-Haul last spring.
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With a name like Dickie Arbiter, he should be
judging neckwear rather than royals. |
The usual talking heads -- make that grumbling heads -- on the Talk TV channel have become distracted from taking target practice at Prime Minister Andy Burnham in favor of returning to what they call "the gruesome twosome" (a nickname right out of a Hanna-Barbera cartoon circa 1962). Their theories regarding the end of Megxit range from the couple's American business failures to losing their Hollywood friends to sensing the end is near for King Charles.
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Then Harry & Meghan could take
X-rays of their heads to see if
anything's in there. |
Not that Harry and Meghan want to be around for the funeral. According to the hosts, they just want to win back British hearts in order for big bro William to feel forced to make amends with them. Otherwise, they'll set up a rival "royal court" down the road, the way John Lennon formed the Plastic Ono Band to record "Cold Turkey" when the other Beatles rejected it.
So much speculation over the most prominent yet dullest couple of the 21st century! At least William and Catherine are having their thrones warmed up by Papa and Stepmom. Harry and Meghan are returning to nothing more interesting than giving speeches at schools, hospitals, and military bases (which are paying rent to the royals). And as for the kids' education, I bet there are plenty of good private schools in or around Montecito. No need to travel 6,000 miles to learn about how well-equipped British troops lost the Revolutionary War to a ragtag band of rebels.
So what is behind the big move? Let's put the question to Google's AI function and see what it says:
Huh. Maybe there's something rattling in their brains after all. Hope the working class doesn't mind taking up the slack.
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