SHOCK THE MONKEYS

Shockwave.

It has a nice sound to it. You can almost feel it beneath your feet, traveling up your spine, spreading into your bones. Shockwave. The ground trembles at the very word.

I mean, I guess so. Not even the strongest earthquake causes as many shockwaves as something that upsets the federal government's status quo, if journalists are to be believed.

OK, Eddie, I won't.

The latest shockwave happened when House Republican Leader Eric Cantor lost the primary election. Googling "cantor shockwave washington" brings up over 23-million hits. (You can accuse reporters of a lot of things, but originality isn't one of them.) Cantor's loss also allowed reporters to use the word "unprecedented" like they were being paid by the syllable. Cantor's unprecedented loss sent shockwaves through Washington. I felt shockwaves when I initially misheard the reports. Eddie Cantor lost an election? I thought he was dead.

So what doesn't send shockwaves through Washington?

• Twenty children killed at Sandy Hook.
• An average of one school shooting a week since Sandy Hook.
• Over 31,000 gun deaths in America last year.
• Over 36,000 American soldiers killed or wounded in order to have Iraq taken over by terrorists.
• One veteran committing suicide every 65 minutes.
• Veterans making up close to 25% of the homeless.
• One in 45 children in America being homeless.
• Twenty percent of households with no one able to get work.
• Part-time, minimum wage jobs becoming the norm.
• Nearly 50% of the unemployed giving up looking for work.

Eric Cantor losing his job? Shockwave.

Don't worry, Eric. You'll line up a cushy gig or two, probably on K Street or Fox News, at several times your current salary. You won't be one of the homeless or unemployed or murdered. You'll just be one of the very few of the major players in Congress who got on the wrong side of the electorate. 

In a way, you'll belong to a very exclusive club. Because by the time that the next boldfaced DC name loses his job, there will be dozens more schools shot up, thousands more veterans committing suicide, countless more jobs lost. 

But when that boldfaced-name goes belly-up at the voting booth... shockwave.

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