BREAKING NEWS: CHEMICAL WEAPONS EDITION

The New York Times is reporting that American soldiers stationed in Iraq were unknowingly exposed to chemical weapons from 2004 to 2011. These weapons, which the Pentagon kept secret from the troops, were manufactured in part by the United States.

A spokesman for President Obama, noting that the weapons were from a previous administration, referred The Ol' Fish-Eye to a spokesman for former President George W. Bush, who in turn referred us to a spokesman for former Secretary of Defense Colin Powell. 

That spokesman, noting the manufacture of the agents began before the Bush administration, referred us to a spokesman for former President Bill Clinton, who, in turn, referred us to a spokesman for former Secretary of Defense William Cohen.

That spokesman, noting the manufacture of the agents began before the Clinton administration, referred us to a spokesman for former President George H.W. Bush, who, in turn, referred us to a spokesman for former Secretary of Defense Dick Cheney.

That spokesman, noting that the casualties happened in later administrations, referred us to spokesmen for former President George W. Bush and President Barack Obama, who referred us to the spokesman for the wounded soldiers.

The soldiers, however, have no spokesman.

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