If Donald Trump referred to Social Security as Obama Cash, his voters would stop accepting it every month.
Nobody in New York will care about climate change when they can go for a walk in Central Park on a sunny 70-degree winter day.
Love is a many-splendored thing, but money will buy you more of it.
Is it true what they say about Dixie? Then keep me the hell away from it.
They say God must love the poor because He made so many of them. I say it's because He's a Republican.
A new Civil War wouldn't be a bad idea as long as they keep it civil this time.
Hunter Biden should be off-limits as a topic of conversation, unless you need to score some good frisky powder.
If Abraham Lincoln were president today, a third of the country would call him a libtard, another third would say he didn't do enough for minorities, and the rest wouldn't recognize him.
Houses of worship should allow as many believers as possible, without social distancing. Just lock them in there for the next 12 months.
Jay Leno is the funniest stand-up comic of his time, which ended in the early 1990s.
Nobody really believes it when they say, "I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy."
If wishes were horses, I would could clean up at the track every weekend.
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