TRUMP IS THE DRUG

And if Trump isn't available, show his casino going down.

Did you notice that wonderful silence after the Biden inauguration? For several weeks, the endless pontificating, yowling, squawking of the former president, suddenly over. As if somebody just pulled a switch to Off, Goddammit, Off!

It was a beautiful thing... while it lasted. Then, gradually, in the last couple of weeks, it's been sneaking back -- clips of Trump crashing a wedding or trashing a Democrat. A sitdown with his daughter in law, a sound-off with Sean Hannity. All dutifully repeated on the other networks, occasionally bolstered by the ticker-tape headline starting with the words TRUMP SAYS.

Fox News, I get. They need to keep their Wehrmacht viewers fat and happy. But CNN? MSNBC? Still treating the opinions, actions, and premature verbal ejaculations of a private citizen as newsworthy? Where do I go for that red carpet?

Where did our love go?

Les Moonves (CBS president) and Jeff Zucker (CNN president) were right when they said, in so many words, America be damned, the presidency of Donald Trump would be good for their businesses. And now that he's out of office, the news people are going through withdrawals -- as are, unfortunately, many of their viewers. They're hooked to Trumpus Cannabis. 

Let us sing, then, to the tune of the Roxy Music classic "Love is the Drug":

'Tain't no big news to talk about Trump's dumb views
'Tain't no big news but we'll do it now.

Aggravating us for years
He trolls us now, til we're in tears
Thumps us, beats us up, we say "more",
Trump is the drug and we're all the whore.


Showing up, talking trash when on Fox --
Ratings up, Donald really rocks
We're uptight -- make a fuss
Trump is the drug, got his hooks in us.

Oh, take his crap
Trump is the drug that we like to tap.
Oh, he's our weed
Trump is the drug we need

Ev'ry night we'll quote him here
Word for word and for years and years
We hate him, so do you
But you'll watch like you always do.

Rachel M., Tapper, too --
Their furrowed brow: nothing new
Trump says jump, we go high
We bow our heads, then we heave a sigh.

Oh, take his crap
Trump is the drug that we like to tap
Oh, let's discuss:
Trump is the drug, got his hooks in us.

 
Oh, take his shit
Trump is the drug that we need to hit.
Oh, we're all nuts --
Trump is the drug for us.