FILE UNDER: AWFUL PEOPLE

 As the Epstein files continue to roll out, people across the political spectrum may have to rethink their long-held beliefs. For the royalists, it's that Harry and Meghan were the worst things to happen to the Royal Family since the Duke of Windsor said, "Hi, Hitler!" to his charming host. Which, in their heart of hearts, they likely defend,

Remember, this was Queen Elizabeth's
favorite son.

For the left, it's that the crazy QAnon cult might not have been so crazy after all. Remember guffawing when they warned about an international sex/pedophile ring involving the world's elite? I sure do. It's like learning there really is a Santa Claus, only instead of children receiving gifts, they're being trafficked to the highest bidder. 

When I use the word "elite", it has nothing to do with education. For how stupid does one have to be not to wonder why your best friend is constantly snapping photos of you, preferably in the kind of compromising positions that two-bit private eyes would trade their best fedoras for? 

I didn't think anything could top Prince Andrew Andrew Mountbatten Windsor proudly pawing the prone body of a young woman -- or girl, perhaps? -- while making sure Jeffrey Epstein or one of his minions snapped away from various angles.

"Does it turn you on when I
commit treason, luvvie?"

But then came Peter Mandelson, the UK's Ambassador to the US, chatting with another young woman --or girl, perhaps? -- while clad only in a t-shirt and tighty-whities. Did it not occur to Mandelson to ask, "Hang on, mate, what's going on here?" 

Or had his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein gone so far from what is considered a normal friendship that he realized it was already too late to protest the most embarrassing image since your high school senior class photo? 

And talk about stupid -- this was the third time in his political career that Mendelson had been caught giving inside economic information to an American billionaire. It's good to know Prime Minister Kier Starmer is right up there with Donald Trump when it comes to hiring the best of the best. 

Woody and Soon-Yi follow their master in a rare
moment of sunshine.

Let's be fair, it isn't just the Brits who are up to their Wellies in Muck a la Epstein. Woody
Allen can no longer pretend to be just a regular schnook who spends his evenings listening to Benny Goodman 78s while banging out scripts on a 1960s manual typewriter. Not when he spent many wonderful evenings in Epstein's New York mansion he nicknamed "Castle Dracula" due to the "young women" roaming around. Did the Woodman not get the note that Epstein had served time for pedophilia in 2008? 

Let us, too, allow a moment of scrutiny of Woody's beloved Soon-Yi Previn's text to Jeffrey Epstein regarding Anthony Weiner's sexual hijinks with a 15-year-old girl:

Highlights for the TLDR crowd: I also thought it was disgusting what the 15-year-old did to him. She knew exactly what she was doing to him. What is her excuse for being a miserable human being?  And misspelling "weak" as "week".

This would actually make for a good Woody Allen movie! Can't you just picture Woody's character reacting to the New York Times publishing this correspondence? "What are you, crazy, I-I-I don't believe this!" Cue "Sing Sing Sing" as we see him pouring over every newspaper he can lay his hands on.

Alas, self-serious college students must be twisting themselves into intellectual pretzels as they ponder how their very own Plato, Noam Chomsky, hung with Jeffrey Epstein, billionaire enemy of the proletariat. 

No way is Chomsky going to fly coach with the
lowly working class.

They're not going to be able to explain this away Bill Maher-style by thinking It's good when opposing sides speak to each other. Not when Chomsky advises his private-jet-owning pal on how to handle the bad press surrounding his sex crimes:

" [...] the horrible way you are being treated in the press and public. It's painful to say, but I think the best way to proceed is to ignore it. What the vultures clearly want is a public response, which then provides a public opening of venomous attacks, many from just publicity seekers or cranks of all sorts -- which are impossible to answer." 

This is friend-to-the-workers Noam Chomsky advising one of the hated nomenklatura nine years after Epstein's sex conviction. His response to questions regarding their friendship -- "It is none of your business" -- is richer than Epstein. Had anyone else responded in such a way to their connection to a billionaire sex offender, Chomsky would have been on his high red horse like the Lone Ranger. 

"What, me worry?"

Not to worry, nobody is going to pay a price. Not Trump, Woody, Noam, Andrew, nobody. Unless you consider Andrew moving out of his house or Trump being on the receiving end of a toothless Saturday Night Live sketch or Woody not getting nominated for an Oscar or Noam not getting the Hasty Pudding Club award. 

We must all sadly admit QAnon might have been on to something. Now when will JFK, Jr. return to the grassy knoll as promised?

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